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Talking about safe sex: what should I discuss with my new partner before...?

What? Just open your mouth and start talking about sex? Yes, that's right! What's confusing you? You can talk about what big olives you saw in that restaurant or what kind of massage you like. Yes, talking about sex is unusual and weird. But maybe you could try being a little weird?

Photo: Boris Revo

After all, how do you know that you like kissing the neck and touching your stomach is strictly forbidden? Before any activity together, you need to attune yourself. And when it comes to sex, straight talk is a direct way to increase pleasure for all involved.

If you're a very modest person, replace the conversation with a pen pal. The form is not important, it is important that you are on the same page and discuss the upcoming sexual fun together.

I hope I've talked you into it and you're no longer in doubt that talking about sex is worthwhile. I'm going to tell you what to talk about before your first sex with a new person.

  1. STI Testing: Let's start with this topic, because safety first. Ask each other about the last time you were tested, the results and whether you have had unprotected sex since then, what methods of protection you prefer. If you don't know if you have any diseases, condoms, gloves, and latex wipes can help make that sex safe.

  2. Relationships: To establish a safe rapport, you need an honest conversation about any current sexual or romantic relationship. Transparency about your relationship status is very hot.

  3. Needs: Discussing your sexual preferences, psychological and physical safety needs, and after-sex desires can help create a more enjoyable and fulfilling sexual experience for both partners. You can say you're especially vulnerable after sex and want cuddles and kisses, and all the hygiene stuff can be done later together.

  4. Restrictions: It's important to discuss any actions or triggers that are not acceptable during sex and to establish stop words for safety. The word should be simple and neutral, like "sun" or "apple," because "no" and "stop" can be part of your game.

  5. Today: Before you proceed to sex, tell each other two three things you'd like to try tonight. This kind of conversation will help you understand each other, and it's also very hot to discuss your desires.

  6. Final Step: Asking if there's anything else important to discuss before having sex and actively listening to each other can help establish open and honest communication and ensure a positive experience for everyone involved.

In conclusion, having a thorough and open discussion about these and any other relevant topics can help ensure a safe and enjoyable first sexual experience with a new partner. Don't be afraid to bring up these discussions – they can help build trust, intimacy, and a stronger connection.


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